Tag Saleing my way to God

What is it about Saturday morning tag sales in June? I start off, my list in hand and make my way to the first destination. It is a multi family sale, with many houses participating in the small New England town. The first stop I see nothing. I continue and find a corner shelf that may do the trick, but I am unsure. The third stop is the treasure trove, packaged greeting cards and magnets. I love cards, the artwork, the paper. I have an addiction to paper products, note cards, knowledge cards, post its, you name it. I make my purchase and the hunt is on. I am seeking another treasure, and I know it is just at that next destination. Can we get to the sale across town? But we need to have lunch. But what if the perfect item is there and we miss it? Bargain hunting kind of reminds me of my spiritual path, as twisted as it is, I am always looking for something better, something that will finally complete me. Is it the book on meditation or the new yoga prop? Could it be the tarot card set or the crystal? These are all quick fixes and what I have been realising lately is that although God can be a quick fix, I must first have a relationship with her. A simple prayer does so much more that a get spiritual quick program. But just as a marriage takes time and energy to make work, I need to take the time and energy to have a relationship with my higher power. It is always there, I do not have to go down the street for the next treasure, I just need to sit, take a deep breath, close my eyes and say hi.

Running as Prayer

I recently started running again after a 5 month hiatus. In the first few weeks I questioned whether or not I belonged locked up someplace. Who would do that to themselves? After the initial training period in which I thought I just might die in the middle of the road, I caught my stride. Running for me has always been relaxing. I hit the road cranky and full of anger and I come back too tired to be irritable anymore. Could be that I am just too tired to be angry, or it could be the fact that my daily runs are a spiritual practice. Every footfall creates a beat, I connect with the earth, I connect with my breath and body and ultimately, I connect with God. My mind is still going around in circles, gripes come up, but I am forced to pay attention to my relationship with the surrounding landscape as well as the interior landscape (aka my screaming lungs). I accomplish something and I take care of my body, which is the first to be neglected throughout the day. Years of abuse, alcohol, food, cigarettes and caffeine did not signal to God that I was worthy of love, or that I took care of what I had been given. When I run, I kind of let God know that I am taking care of her creation, that I am willing to be open to change and to learn and grow (and hopefully fit into my skinny jeans at the same time). My running mantra, Thank (footfall) You (footfall) Gasp.

Gratitude

Or, the easiest way to save my butt when it is on fire.
Recipe for Gratitude
1. Grab a couple of friends to play along.
2. Create an email with these friends in the CC line
3. Title it Monday's Grats, or Tuesday's Gratitudeliciousness.
4. Write what you are grateful for.
5. Send
6. Your friends will hit, Reply all and write what they are grateful for.
7. This will not only help to get your head out of your ass, but will keep you in close touch with friends.
This list might grow, so beware. There are 30 something ladies on mine. I save them in a folder so that when I am feeling particularly cranky and unreasonable I can just reread just how fabulous my life really is.
8. Serve with love and compassion.

Self Righteousness is not a bowl of cherries

Yesterday I expounded on the audacity of a newspaper thief. Self righteousness run rampant. Watch out world. They stole from ME? When my teenage son handed me the paper yesterday after getting home from school I had to laugh. The universe has such a sense of humor, and enjoyed a great big laugh at my expense. But the question is, can I laugh at myself? What is the big deal anyway? I get wrapped up in so many of life's details I forget that I really have it good. My refrigerator is stocked with yummy tofu and veggies, I have a beautiful apartment that is quiet and serene, and many fabulous friends. But if someone runs a red light, the sky could be falling and the world coming to an end. So what to do, love rather than be loved, or just lighten up? Whatever I choose today, self righteous indignation or grateful serenity will ultimately chart the course of my day. It is really up to me.

No News

Someone stole my newspaper today. I left this morning, a little lazy, driving right past it out of the driveway, to return, three hours later. I found the plastic bag it was packed in, ripped open at the knot and draped nicely over the split rail. The paper itself was only worth 60 cents, but I cannot let it go. Not only did the person steal my 60 cents (I am a student living off loans) they left their trash for me to pick up, and I cannot even reuse the bags like I usually do. Self justified anger sets in, then judgement. Obviously, I think, the thief must be a jerk, a literate jerk, but a jerk nevertheless. I could write a scathing Letter to the Editor, but jerks probably only read the horoscopes and lotto numbers, not the Letters. I spend precious time and energy thinking of ways to even the score. How dare someone steal from me? Do they know how nice I am? I stumble down the path to feeling violated, they were in my driveway, they had to stop and stoop to pick the paper out of the pile of leaves and dirt it was laying on. They had to rip open the bag, take the paper out and drape the bag over the fence railing. In my driveway.

SO WHAT?

These are the moment when the Saint Francis Prayer is hard to adhere to. Love rather than be loved, forgive rather than be forgiven. I can forgive serial murderers, but I cannot seem to find an ounce of compassion for the thief who stole my 12 pages of news, most of which I skim anyways. What is so unforgivable? The fact that they stole from, gasp, me? Or the fact that they invaded my space? This incident just points out the fact that I have long road to travel, in order to be in alignment with God. I have opportunities every day to accept people for who they are, sticky fingers and all. Tomorrow, when I leave the house, I will make sure and pick up my paper. I will save the plastic bags that it is wrapped in and I will skim the headlines before placing it in a pile to be recycled. Or maybe, just maybe I will place it by the side of my driveway for someone else to read.

Question

What is there to fear in having a relationship with God? Peace, freedom, happiness. Real scary stuff.

More Transitions

Did I forget God, walking across that bridge? Probably.
Dear God, help me to walk gracefully through the different transitions I face today. Comfort me when I get scared and be there in case I want to fall. Help me to allow new experiences and release the old. Help me to remember that I am right where I need to be today.