Going Vegan

My 200th post! It has been awhile since I have last written, I have been busy working my way through a Master's program, and it has been intense. But I am enjoying every minute and I am grateful.

Approximately fifteen years ago I attended a vegan dinner at a local Indian Restaurant with my father. The food was delicious and I left the meal feeling energized rather than the usual sluggish. I was volunteering at a local shelter working with animals, and I made the decision that night to stop eating meat. I have been a vegetarian since that dinner. I made the choice for ethical as well as health reasons. I lost weight and felt better about my food choices.

Recently I have taken another step, I am attempting to remove all animal products from my diet, including some of my favorites, cheese and ice cream. I haven't had milk since I was a child (with the exception of coffee at restaurants) but dairy products comprised a significant part of my daily protein intake. The ice cream was fairly easy (shocker) with products such as Tofutti frozen dessert and SoDelicious coconut milk products. The cheese was a wee bit harder. I did finally buy vegan cheese and made myself a batch of mac and cheese, melting the shredded "cheese" with Silk creamer and vegan butter. The dish was surprisingly yummy (my twenty year old man child even ate an entire batch.) And for the past few weeks I have actually made myself meals. For anyone who knows me, this might be considered a miracle greater than the whole turning water into wine act.  I have been a prepackaged food gal ever since I can remember. I don't enjoy cooking (it involves cleaning...) But I now have three meals that I have mastered out of Nava Atlas's Vegan Express cookbook. The recipes are fast with few ingredients and super yummy. I have read that for every person who eats a vegan diet, 900 animals are saved. I am not perfect yet, and I still eat cheese whenever there aren't options for me when I am out and about, but so far I haven't purchased any animal products for a few months now. I feel better about my choices, have lost a little more weight and have in the end learned how to be a little more compassionate with myself. Taking care of my body in these ways, eliminating high cholesterol products, and cooking foods that contain real ingredients, is a step in the right direction. This journey is a spiritual one, my connection with the planet has only been amplified. Next step... my shoe obsession. Wish me luck and a vegan shoe store...  

Of Paper Towels, Purple Shoes and Miracles

This past week has been an interesting one to say the least. I have been observing my reactions to life's challenges, and although the patterns haven't quite gelled, the mixed metaphors are aplenty. Observation number 1: I am like a paper towel, capable of extreme self - absorption. Just call me the quicker picker upper. Observation number 2: Not only do I absorb, but I drink in negativity and fear. It is a party here, pour me another please and make it extra weepy with a few shots of rage. I am like an addict getting drunk on fear, anger and self justification. It hasn't been easy hanging out with me for the last few days, it is actually kind of a drag. But but but, I want to scream. Maybe it is time to make up with God, because when I separate myself from the Divine, I become a real pain in the ass.  This morning I started to say thank you, over and over again, because when I am in fear I am not in gratitude. I will take this week's experience with poverty and I will use it in my writing. I can understand why folks get tired and cranky when their pantries hold no food. I can understand how hard it is to ask for help, how shame creeps in when one has to ask for help just to survive. I can understand what it feels like to be cold because oil is just too expensive. Great, I have learned those lessons. Now I can get out of it, ask God for help, and start looking at the amazing miracle my life is. I live in the most beautiful apartment, have a fabulous son, animals that wake me up in the morning, friends overflowing, and I have purple shoes. I have enough food for today, enough oil for today, enough gas in the car for today, and the more I say thank you, the less power the negativity has over me. I put down the paper towels and print out a resume. I pour out the glass and write this entry. I put on a warm fluffy sweatshirt, thank God for my life and wake up to miracles.

The Calm Sea is Full of Shoes

 

The day is crisp, a gentle breeze blows from the north, or south. The
house is quiet, for once my animal friends are snoozing. I am serene, my life is running smoothly, things are falling into place. Why do I want so bad to splash? Not just a little, oops sorry I got you splash. I want to create waves, I want to start a fight, to mix things up a bit. It is hard to sit in peace with oneself. I find that I am closest to my God when I can calm the chatter in my head and just sit in peace, in prayer and meditation. There is something scary about sitting in peace and quiet, alone with myself. What dragon will sneak up behind me and yell "boo" in my ear? I think that it is more than just waiting for the other shoe to drop (yes size 9-1/2, pumps please). Part of having an addictive personality is that I just love chaos. I love the drama, the adrenaline that shoots through my veins when I have 18 million projects to do and not enough time to do them. I love feeling excited when I have new projects, new shoes, and new adventures planned. My enemy is silence, is stillness, is treading water. Give me bigger, better, more, more, more until I collapse in a heap and what? Sit in silence maybe? For today I will write a paper, I will allow myself a few minutes of quiet with myself. I will refrain from entering a shoe store. I will keep my mouth shut and not start a fight. I will be a grown up. Now there, that wasn't so bad was it. Row, row, row the boat...