Running Downhill

Uphill takes forever and no matter which direction I run, there always seems to be more up hills than down. Why? I guess because we take longer to run uphill. Downhill I speed up and it is over quickly. Same with life, the harder hills seem to take forever, but once you crest you can cruise down. It all comes down to this: is it worth the climb? If you ski, you might say yes. When I am running full speed down a hill, the wind in my hair and a smile on my face, I say hell yes. There are always going to be climbs, times throughout the journey where it is just so hard, when you are breathless and ready to collapse. For me, my mind wants to give up right before the crest, but I know if I just hang on, the view will present itself. I reach the top, legs sore, lungs burning, and slow for the descent, the delicious, glorious descent. The descent is why we run, that feeling of being alive, the absolute joy of losing control. It is over soon, and life returns back to normal, maybe a few gentle bumps, some flat open spaces, and a few twists and turns. What I need to remember, while in the midst of a life climb, is that the crest will appear, and the freedom of the downhill only comes after I climb. I worked hard to earn my college degrees, and the feeling of freedom, of joy and accomplishment after receiving that diploma...that is why I brave the hills. Today, jobless, I slowly make my way up another hill. I send out resumes, I search online databases, and I ask for help. I climb. I don't know when the crest will come, but for this one moment, right here and now, I believe I will make it up that hill, maybe with sore legs, but the downhill will be so much fun.

Bucket Lists

Creating a bucket list... I worked this summer with teens in a leadership program. We did different exercises on setting goals and even made bucket lists. The kids were amazing, some knew exactly what they wanted to accomplish, but others didn't and had to put effort into creating a list of future endeavors. Sitting here today on a Saturday afternoon with a YA novel in hand I realize that I do not have a list of goals myself. I spent the last few years working on my degrees both Bachelor and Master's. I am in the process of job hunting so that seems to be my focus. But what about other areas in my life? Sure I have signed up for another half marathon but it is something I can do and have done. What are my other goals, dreams etc. A student asked me what I like to do in free time the other day. It was hard to think of anything beside read. Or running. What are my heart's desires? To find gainful fulfilling creative employment, yes. But work only accounts for a certain number of hours per week. As I sit here on a Saturday afternoon I know that I need more, more to work for or towards. That is who I am. Yes I know that it is nice to sit and be, be aware of the present moment and all it has to offer. Yet I am a goal setter, a planner. I can sit but I also need to move. Today I will begin a list: dogsledding in Vermont, run another marathon or maybe a tough mudder, learn how to cook tofu well, travel to Florence get my Ph.D in medieval studies, learn and speak Italian fluently, hike the Cinque Terre. It is a start. Time to open my eyes and see what the world has to offer.