Monday, June 28, 2010

Just Pay Attention Already

Last week I was sitting on a rock abutting the sea, having a little one on one time with God. It took me a while to realize that the other rocks, near were my feet were dangling, were teeming with crabs, large and babies. They blended into the background and my senses didn't register them until I had spent sufficient time in the same spot. Now, back in the states I have slipped into my hustle and bustle life ad wonder exactly what I miss by being in constant motion. What I know I need, and what I wonder if I will allow myself, is quiet prayer and contemplation time, to ease back into life. I question what the next step is but I don't sit back to allow an answer to come. Today's goal is to pay attention, just for a few minutes, to notice some of the details that I normally overlook. Because the answers to all of my ponderings are there. I just can't see them.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Coming Home

Usually when I am out of town I hit a point where I am ready to go home. This was not the case this time around. Yes I missed my friends, my family, my dogs and my boyfriend, but I was also beginning to become attached to a new landscape, a new language and the history that is Italy. Is it because one of my grandparents came from Milano? After all I am also attracted to Celtic art and believe I have some Irish blood in me as well. It has taken this week to become reaclimated to my home, the time difference, the different pace of living, the accents. I longed to say "grazie" to the store clerk at Cumberland Farms, and "scusi" came out of my mouth more than once. Italy is made up of music, the language, the stories, the harmony of the artwork, the opera. I was born in the U.S., love the trees, the lakes, the critters of the Berkshires, but also feel a connection to a new place now. This past semester I wrote a final paper on the concept of "home." Where is one's home? I wrote, "Home is a place of connection, of beauty, and of simplicity, the place where the birds flock to eat up all of the safflower seed before the bear decides he needs a snack. Home is what is left after the walls burn and the relationships die. Home today is the edge of Barbieri Pond." Now I don't know. Do we have a permanent place that we can call home or is the concept an ever changing idea? Non lo so.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Be sure to

check out Girl Goes Global, my travel blog at:
Coming soon, my first book of poetry, Spring's Third Day, available in July, published by Planet Media.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Italian Prayer

I needed to pray.

So first I went to the two churches in town, and then I went to the sea.

In the churches I found silence but for the voices, murmurs of people filtering in and out. I found art, sometimes over 500 year old art, gazed upon by many awed worshipers, recognizing beauty and passion. I found a pew to sit on and rest, to allow myself to be supported.

And I asked.

I am here, and a piece of me is here. The door is open. Now where do I go from here? What is the next step? Practicality tells me to finish my degree, apply to grad school, write, write and write. My heart and tears tell me to stay here. So the two sides need to come together. I will go home to the people I love. I will finish my degree, and I will return here. I will write, write and write. Because it’s not always all or nothing. Sometimes it’s both. Sometimes the answer is, be with what you love. And what ties everything together is God. So whether I am in this home or that home, I am home – with God. So I first went to where we pray, where we find God sometimes. I then went straight to God – to the edge of the sea, and the two places balanced. A bit of silence, strength, creativity and power. So now, the water is coming into shore, it will then return to open sea, only to return again. Today is only the beginning, my first time ashore. I feel that home isn’t a set point in space, but rather where I put my feet. Wherever that is, there I find God.