Saturday, April 24, 2010

Self Righteous Woman

Her costume has "S" across the front, her cape is long and flowing, she can cut someone to shreds with her thoughts and tongue. She is Self Righteous Woman, able to harness a resentment in a single moment. Driving down the road I transformed into SRW with the super human capabilities of thrashing and dicing. The driver of the Volvo tailgating me was almost the victim of this Superhero. I was driving the speed limit, and the driver dared to pass me in a town known for its speed traps. I hoped for the materialization of the cop, who always parked in hidden places along the country roads. What happened to loving everyone? I had in fact asked my Higher Power to help me become a more patient, loving gal. SRWdoes not love, holds no empathy and displays no compassion. She is right, she is righteous, she is Self Righteous Woman. Maybe the cop did nab my Volvo friend, maybe they got to where they were going. I do know how it feels to be late when a slow driver pulls out in front of me. Maybe next time I could remember that feeling as they violently pull around my car. Maybe.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

The Dance

Two steps forward, one step back, pause; turn to face your partner, bow, and spin, return to the beginning. Repeat. Each of my daily interactions is a series of steps, choreographed, sometimes a misstep here and there, but I always return to the sequence. I see this in myself in the act of raising a child. Ask child to do dishes, forward step, get upset when they are not done, sweep left foot, ask child again, do-si-do, throw a temper tantrum, final bow. What would happen if I changed my moves? I know it would feel uncomfortable, after all I know the sequence, and I have been practicing for years. My partner may trip, get angry, but eventually catch on to the new moves and fall into place. The question is: How do I learn new moves? I think that is where God enters the picture, God as choreographer. The performance might be better, after all, we are dealing with a professional instead of the amateur that I appear to be. Divine Spirit may also have a few steps that I would never have dreamed of, in unique combinations. It would be the difference between a middle school dance recital and Jacob's Pillow. The first step in obtaining guidance from Divine choreographer is to first admit that one needs the assistance. Then comes the asking. In my limited experience, once I ask, I have the help, or the resources I need to change my steps. I have to practice, but eventually I envision a sink full of clean dishes.